the darkness that lives
by TappinCastlefan
Summary: It's not just a pen. There's a USB output hidden in the casing. AU take on 6x09 - What may have happened if they found the pen's drive 40 minutes earlier.


_I did a thing...Again...this is what happens when ajksmusic and I watch Castle in the wee hours. Thanks for spurring my imagination and beta'ing this one!_

* * *

Despite Beckett swatting his hand away he managed to pocket the pen anyway.

He couldn't help it. It's who he is - she knows. Maybe it's the writer thing, he supposes, that instilled in him some strange attraction to writing utensils, but he can't help but take a pen when it's offered.

He doesn't know what it is about Nieman's pen, but he couldn't leave it. She seemed to want him to have it so badly, and even though the doctor has a somewhat creepy attraction to his fiancé's appearance (though he can't really argue, Kate has a beautiful face), he went along with it.

He's hanging out on the couch by himself - Beckett making a couple of late calls to the precinct about the case in the office. The pen bobs back and forth between his fingers, he spins it, flips it, even tries to scratch the ink of the doctor's name with his nail just because...but it's a good quality pen.

Which is why he's confused when it splits in two like a twig in his hand.

His brain is randomly cycling through comments of the oddity but then he catches it.

It's not just a pen.

There's a USB output hidden in the casing.

He runs his thumb along the metal, curious, hesitates to move to plug the thing into his laptop to see just what's so important about this flash drive. The possibilities are endless.

He knows what he thinks it is but has been too paranoid to tell anyone else. Kate will tell him for the thousandth time in the past year - because it's been about a year - that he needs to stop feeling guilty. Esposito will look at him like he's crazy, Lanie will probably just sigh, still upset. And Ryan...well, he knows the look that would befall Ryan's face if he mentions the theory.

But it seems so startlingly clear to him. Who else could be responsible for a look-alike murder?

"That was Esposito, finished going back through Pam's financials but...what?" She stops herself when she looks up from her phone to find him staring at her. "What's that?"

"It was in the pen?"

"What pen?"

"The one you didn't want to take from Kelly Neiman's office."

She rolls her eyes but waits for him to explain.

"Look, I took a pen, okay. It was stupid - maybe," he corrects himself, "but...this is no coincidence."

She shrugs, rolling her shoulders as she finds the words to come up with some kind of other idea. "Maybe it's just part of her marketing strategy, Castle. Lots of businesses are doing things like this to be creative, let's not...jump to conclusions."

"Beckett," he stands, moves towards her brandishing half a pen with a USB sticking out of it, "How can I not when the body in the morgue looks just like Lanie? That alone is not just happenstance - there is someone involved here who _knows_ us. Knows Lanie. Think about it!"

"Castle, no-"

"Can I make a suggestion? Even though it's going to annoy you, can I just...tell you, please, what this looks like to me?"

Without another word she nods, shifts on her feet so that she's just a little bit closer, so that she can wrap her hand around his free on, pulling him to her by the wrist. "Okay," she sighs, only slightly irritated. "What's your theory?"

"It's Tyson."

"No." Her answer is immediate.

"Kate, there's nothing else that makes sense here-"

"Castle. No. Not only did you shoot the man dead but he fell at least 100 feet off of that bridge, you _have_ to stop feeling guilty about this. We talked about this..." she implores him.

It hurts. It physically hurts him to make this case to her, because he knows the guilt that she feels for his own. He doesn't want to drive them into this but it's staring him down.

"Just...plug that thing in so that we can move past this and try and find other evidence. Please?"

"Okay," he asserts, striding past and into the office, going for the open laptop.

Beckett's hot on his heels, almost too close by the time he snaps the little drive into the input in the computer, her hand against his back. They're both holding their breath - he knows it. Standing stock still side by side in front of the desk, waiting for...he doesn't know what.

The player pops up on its own.

His fingers are nowhere near the keyboard, but it runs anyway.

The waveform loads and it's playing.

_"We'll...meet again...don't know where...don't know when..."_

And he knows. It sickens him but he knows. It's Tyson - no question. It has to be.

The body double, the manipulation, the message, the taunting.

It's Tyson.

This is payback for catching him three years ago, finding him again and...letting him get away.

"Castle," Kate's voice shakes, her hand tightened even more in the fabric of his shirt.

"I know." He answers. Reaching an arm up and around her shoulders he tugs her in, the two of them wrapped around each other in the office as the tune continues to play.

He knew.

* * *

He hates that he knew.

Kelly Nieman's office is completely cleared by the time they get back to the precinct with the flash drive, not answering her cell, not at the apartment address listed - nothing.

They have nothing.

He's twitching in his chair next to Beckett's desk. It doesn't feel right. There's a knot in the pit of his stomach and he can't help but feel like something is horribly, horribly wrong.

"Beckett," he whispers. He knows he's interrupting her. She's been trying to read back through old files on Tyson's case to find _anything_.

"Hmm?" Her pen is trailing down the page with her eyes, as if tracking and backing up every word on the sheet.

"She _wanted_ us to take that pen."

She looks up. Brow furrowed, thinking.

"Was it me or did she seem awfully eager to offer it up?"

"Are you saying she knew what's in it?"

"I don't know..." he muses, "but if she did...It's like a cry for help, right? Making sure that we took what is basically proof that Tyson is involved? Why didn't she just tell us? Come forward sooner?"

"I don't know, Castle," she leans forward, folds her hands together. All he wants to do is give her his own to hold but they promised they'd be professional...he thinks this should be extenuating circumstances. "Maybe he's holding something over her head...listening in, or-"

"-That's why she's gone" They both realize at the exact same moment.

"That's why we can't find her," he exclaims, "He had to know we were there - that we know something."

"And if he knows we took that pen..."

"Then he knows we suspect him." He finishes.

"Beckett!" Ryan calls, zipping through the bullpen, file in hand. "I looked into the prison records from when we first crossed with Tyson. You remember the beating he was treated for right before we removed him?"

He hears Beckett answer but can't help noticing the way Ryan fades just a bit, remembering that night.

"Look who treated him." He points to the signature on the bottom of the page.

"Dr. Kelly Nieman."

"She started volunteering there the week Tyson was first put in and quit the week he escaped."

"She's got to be his girlfriend," Castle starts, "She's been under his thumb the whole time."

"Or he taught her everything he knows. If she intentionally gave us that pen - the proof - and Tyson wasn't ready for it then she could be in even more danger than she signed on for."

"We've got to find Kelly Nieman," Ryan asserts.

They dive in, contacting everyone and anyone to try and track her down. But no one knows anything.

Castle grunts, slamming the phone down after speaking with a supposed colleague of Nieman's who has never heard of her. He presses his fingers into his eyes, feeling the exhaustion set in. "This is a dead end. We're not going to find her."

"Castle," Beckett attempts to soothe. "Just relax. We'll get there."

He sighs, "If Tyson wants her dead – she's already dead, Kate. And we have no idea what he's going to do next." He's the one with the grim perspective – such a stark change to how their working relationship usually is. He's always the one with the crazy idea – thinking that they can conquer everything.

"Hey," she reaches across the table, over files and empty coffee mugs, takes his hand. She's looking at him with such worry. "We will figure this out Castle. We will."

* * *

They don't.

It nauseates him when the day ends with another body, no Kelly Nieman, and a note.

_Better luck next time._

It's insulting, even though he knows that's exactly Tyson's intention, and it's terribly personal. "I don't know what to do…" he whispers to her. It's eating at him, a black cloud slowly consuming him the more he lets the case take up space in his head.

They're back where they started the day – on the couch. Only this time Kate is lying nearly on top of him, his arms wrapped around her. The loft is silent, save for their breathing.

"Nothing we can do without evidence." Right, because he has copies, they saved some, but somehow Santos still got away with a nice haul of 3XK history. "Just…be careful."

"That's really how you see it?"

She sighs. "I think for once I'm…okay enough knowing that we're all okay. If there's one thing I've learned, Castle, it's that chasing ghosts isn't worth it. I know you've been carrying this with you since the beginning…we all do, but we can't move forward holding onto it. All we can do is live our lives and face it when we face it."

"Like the song says, don't know when, right?"

"Yeah." Her voice is so quiet. So unlike the strong woman she is. She's trying to be strong for him, he knows, but…they're all bruised by this.

He wants to be positive but he doesn't think he'll ever recover. Even when they one day, hopefully find Tyson and end it…

the darkness might never go away.

* * *

**_Tappin  
_**=)


End file.
